But!  Ya, but…  I like it, but…

but but but

The word BUT, is like saying NO.  But can be perceived as argumentative, and opinionated.  It can be perceived as not listening, and not understanding someone else’s point.  Has anyone ever said to you “Oh, sorry I was waiting for the but”

The way we typically use the word but, it goes like this:

  • Say something nice, or agree gently.
  • Say BUT
  • Then disagree and dismantle what the other person said.

Removing the word BUT from our conversations, allows us to listen.  It also allows us to disagree, but we do so with more respect.

I like your idea, but my idea is better.

I like your idea, I have an idea too.

Try to see if you can remove the word BUT from your conversations for a whole week, and see if you can observe your dialogues getting softer and more productive.